SB again!

Love is weird. It does crazy thing to sane people. LOL...

This one is for you:

You're the calmness in my being
when the storm threatens to break me
You're the silent music that captured my heart
when the noise inside my head pervades
and I thought I wanted not to hear.

Someone To Take Care Of Me-Part 2

Trouble in paradise. Remember Murphy's law? I do, too. What the hell.

I think there's something off with women who are too dependent on their boyfriends. I tend to roll my eyes and think "Oh please, get a life" when I see girls asking their boyfriends to carry their bags, fetch them to and from school, blah-blah. I even remember this La Sallian couple who got off the bus because the girl finds the bus dirty.

You do get my point, don't you? I think I've established the fact that I hate that kind of attitude. Those cute girls can easily bat their lashes and pout like hell and the guys would go crazy. Those same girls have the energy to shop like madwomen and yet they cannot carry their own bags, not to mention open doors for themselves.

Surprise, surprise! I think I've become one of those girls.

I depend on SB all the time now. Baby, wala akong jacket. Baby, hatid mo ko sa LP. Baby, tulog ka na ba, ndi ako makatulog ndi ka nagtxt. Fuck. What is wrong with me? I hate this kind of behavior, it's so un-me. But still, I can't help it--it's the way I am now.

Love is self-destructive. Ulgghhh!!!

Still At It

SB and I... we've been working on our differences and I think we're doing a good job. Yeah. We're still at it. In fact, we're a few hours away from our second month anniversary...

Hahaha! Laters!

...Us...

There's something different about us; something I can't quite put a finger on. It's as if this time is the first time I've fallen in love and all the other times were just some sort of "background music". It's weird, it's idiosyncratic, and it's crazy. It's all that and more.

It's like stepping into someone else's fantasy, only to realize that it's not a fantasy. It's real and I'm in it. This is my reality. Don't wake me up, I'm not dreaming. It's too good to be true, but it is indeed true. I found the sweetest person I can ever find and my heart says, "hey this is it".

Yeah. This is it. I'm finally holding on to a hand that I never want to let go of.

And this time, i intend to keep it that way.

Lucky Me

Never really thought of making long-term plans til I met you. Not the settling down and married/family life thing sort; more on the personal fulfillment thing, actually. You've somehow brought out a different side of me; the one that puts high regards for self-fulfillment and self-progression. Or words to that effect. Whatever it is, it's something that I can't quite put a finger on. But thanks, anyway. I love...? (hahaha)

Anyway, I'm thinking of seriously pursuing my literary writing thingy. I missed writing short stories, I'm thinking along the lines of both romantic drama stuffs and mind boggling stuffs. It's been a while since I wrote those sort of stories. Been focusing too much on serious journ chorlax when I was in my last year in College. Gosh. I even said goodbye to Deluge when I felt that I had to choose between news and literary. Tsk...

A Poem for You

How long will I survive alone
When you are the only happiness I know?

This I ask myself
As I ponder with my broken heart...
As I imagine you cradling me in your arms,
while precious white pearls cascade down my cheeks

Nighttime haunts me with the unknown
But somehow I can tell
'Cause the angels have sung:
There will be another time for us

Yes.
Someday, somehow,
Our stars will align again

And I will wait
For that second shot at happiness
Even as the dark shadows enclose me in its arms
A constant reminder of the emptiness that lies ahead

Happiness

Leloi is probably jumping into the front line, up against the JPEPA thing that the admin is planning to bury itself into. Febbie is probably at the front line too, this time covering the event for some fancy media outlet. Some devcom people from our batch might be lobbying at the Senate. Me? I'm not into the mainstream media as I originally planned and wished for.

Nevertheless, I'm happy.

I'm working on a night shift and although I can call myself a writer, I am not a journalist. My job now is not the journalistic path/career that I expected myself to be in. Still, I'm not complaining because I'm happy.

It's funny how certain things happen. It's weird, peculiar, even, to find yourself in a situation where you know you're up against the whole world, yet you're happy.

One touch, one gaze, one smile. It's making all the difference in my life.

I know what I am into now; I know where I'm headed. The funny thing is, I don't care. It feels like I'm jumping over a cliff with a stupid smile on my face. He and I, we're looking into the bottomless pit and I bet he's as scared and as uncertain as I am. But we're both happy. That's all that matters now.

I don't know how long this will last. Tomorrow, I might open my eyes and realize that I'm left all alone to jump over the cliff. The hell with the consequences. Come what may.

I'm happy.

Bulalakaw

I couldn't touch you then; you were too near.

Forgive me.

Goodbye my shooting star. I'll be hooting for you.

WHEN WE TWO PARTED (Byron)

...In secret we met
In silence I grieve
That your heart could forget,
That your spirit could deceive.

If I should meet you
After long years
How should I greet you?
With silence or with tears?...

SOFT NIGHT By Armando Subido

The night is soft and cool.
I wait for you,
Amid the garden dusk beneath the trees
This is the hour of softly falling dew

I breathe your name, it floats upon the breeze
That gently stirs the clinging window-vine
You cannot hear;
The fervid longing dies upon my heart

I hear a bird repine
In liquid notes that mingle with my sighs
Rise from your dreams
The sampaguita faints

The cool, soft night is slipping, waning low…
Night shed its tears
The night bird’s sad complaint melts into silence
Love, I want you so

Rise from your dreams
I bring you love more sweet
Than all the flowers I scatter at your feet
To have success, you must fail.