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I lost it - whatever "it" is.

Don't ask me questions, I'm not up to the idea of spilling out the gory details. Besides, I'm well aware that the floodgates would open if I would dare to open my mouth.

It's funny how my friends tend to worry when I cry a lot. Hey guys, chill. I'm not suicidal. This is my way of coping. Rubbing salt in the wound is my way of dealing with... things. After all, if I can get through the darkest hour in one piece, I'll survive. That's the idea.

People get disappointed all the time. People get hurt all the time. People leave when they feel they have to and that happens all the time. It's not a big deal; just something I have to be big enough to deal with.

Mio Caro Joel

Iron bars need not cage me

The dark depths of your fathomless perfection keep me still

My soul has spoken unto years

The language of a heart fervid with longing


Love is elusive to those who wish not to see

But mine burns as bright as a torch of fire

For You

A hundred sleepless nights for a single caress
Sighing in utter contentment at the perfection that is you

To touch you and to breathe your name
And to lay in your arms forever
Nothing else could be better than this…. Bliss…

My Mantra

On being human
Be your own person. Stand up for yourself and don't let doubts and insecurities get you down. Rejections happen; heartache is a reality. Life is tough but you need to be tougher. Raise your own issues but do not answer your own questions. You don't know everything about life. Seek for advice but do not listen to every opinion you hear. Your feelings and experiences differ from theirs. Never compromise your sense of individuality.

On falling in love
Do not be afraid to love. Love is a wonderful feeling. You might end up writhing in pain when love is not reciprocated; or when the so-called perfect relationship that you built your dreams upon has shattered, but at the end of the day, you will realize that the pain is insignificant and of no regard in comparison to the beauty of true love.

On letting go
Get out of destructive relationships. These are relationships that do not allow you to grow. Don't force yourself to find joy in the things that bring you pain. Always do what's best for you, but do it gracefully and never ever intentionally hurt another person, no matter how much pain that person caused you. If the person you want to be with does not belong in your life, gracefully show him or her the door. Change is necessary so deal with it. Bite the bullet and move on.

Mi corazon latido para usted. Solamente para usted.

The title of this entry is read as: My heart beats for you. Only for you.

I came up with the line myself. You should be proud of me. I'm one helluva girlfriend hahaha!

I'm thinking of you. I seem to be doing that a lot, lately. You should see me – I have the typical-angel silly grin on my face. I'm listening to your music. Bamboo is singing If and yet it's you I'm thinking of. I can almost hear your voice. You like this song, don't you? You always select this song when we're out on a videoke-singing spree.

I love love love you…. I miss you like hell.

A Wakeup Call from Aubrey Miles

We're stronger now than we have been in the past. I guess the little "incident" was some sort of a blessing. A blessing in disguise, they say. It sounds so cliché, I know. The point still stands, though.

Joel's back in the old shift. It's too early to tell whether the difference in our sleeping time would work to our advantage or not. We'll see. As far as I can tell, I'm up to the challenge.

Speaking of challenges, I'm in the process of reinventing myself. Sort of. Haha! Well, for starters, I'm learning Spanish. I'm also planning to ask Wendell to teach me how to do the layout for the newsletter. Not that I plan on snagging his job from him. I'm just, ahhh, widening my horizons, so to speak. There are so many things that I am yet to do, so many goals that I am yet to accomplish. My terrible eyesight cannot spell my limitations. Video editing and B&W photography are next on my list.

Aja!

01-13-10

I love you. Heck, I'm not fancying you for other reasons. I'm not infatuated with you, either. This is not a fleeting emotion. I love you. You're everything to me. I'm childish and stupid and I act like an idiot most of the time. I'm a crybaby and I let my emotions control me. I lie and I get away with it. I'm shallow and jealous and insecure. I'm a brat. I act like I own you and I boss you around. I act like a possessed maniac because I'm scared as hell of losing you but believe me, I love you. I love you with everything I am. I'm a broken person today because I love you too much. Goddammit. I'm hurting like hell and yet you don't understand that I wouldn't be picking up the broken pieces today if I didn't want to be complete again. For you. For us.

I am trying to be okay but I am not okay. I am so lost and I am so broken. I need you. I need you to find me again. I don't want to lose us

bobitangsosyalera@ajiccp.com

To the evil shrew who almost stole my guy:

You are a poor excuse for a woman; you are a poor excuse for a human being. Any form of decency and propriety, I think, is beyond your comprehension. You may be beautiful, but you're beauty is superfluous because you're a dumbass. In my honest opinion, you have nothing to be proud of.

Should I see your striking good looks prowling about within the premises of Starbucks-Cubao, I swear… I'm going to pay off a Starbucks personnel to spit on your frappe. Filthy witches like you deserve that much.

Rot in hell, biatch!