Only You

Love came softly,
He whispered gently to my heart
A thousand caress, lingering into my soul

I found my mate
My lover, partner and friend

Need I ask for more?

You are as perfect as anything could be
and my heart yearns for no one else but you

Dear Joel

Was going through my things when I saw this note tucked in an old notebook. It's something I came up with last year. Ka-kornyhan lng hehe...

Several things made me happy today and it made me think of you. You've been the source of my happiness for the last few months. You've been my personal fountain of joy. Can't believe this is how things between us would end; that you'd simply walk away...

Of journeys and destinations

It's been a while since I last posted an entry for this blog. I guess there's simply nothing much to write about. Or maybe I don't have that much time to put my thoughts into writing.

Well, for starters, things between Joel and I are pretty much stable. At this point, I daresay that we're at a point in our relationship where we are most concerned about the future. Our future. Joel and I are making long-term plans already. He's working on a regular morning shift and has a freelance designing racket to boot. Meanwhile, I'm also working hard; one regular job and one freelance writing stint.

We're determined to make things right. We're trying to map out a prosperous future together. We have big dreams and big dreams mean hard work. It's really great to do this together: growing together and fulfilling our own aspirations without a tinge of worry about leaving the other person at the losing end. Yes, we're both making our way up and we're proud and happy about the turn-out of our own careers. Joel is currently training to be the team leader for a particular sections (translations section, i think) in his team. He's saving up for some sort of an investment as well. I think it's important for him to reach his potentials, more than anything else. He should be happy and proud and confident and fulfilled. I, too, should tread the same journey.

I'm really inspired and motivated with this growing up process. Right now, I feel like I have a jolt of optimism for the future. it's as if I can do anything I put my mind to. Joel has that effect on me now. I'm glad he's being supportive about my plans to study again. I think it's really nice to have a partner whom you can really depend on; a partner whom you can proudly bring home to meet your family; a partner whom you can share your visions with. I think I've found my home and I don't want to take another route; I don't intend to look for another haven. This is it. This is where God wants me to be, beside a man who would treat me as his equal and who would allow me to grow in my own terms.

I'm glad I decided to stick to this relationship despite the odds. I'm glad I can now look deep into the beautiful, deep-set eyes of my guy and say he was (and is) all worth it.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY ANGELS AND JOELS!!!

We fit together like two pieces of one puzzle; without rough edges, without uneven ridges.

My brother, my confidant, and my partner... thank you for the gift of your love.

Happy Anniversary!

Untitled

I couldn't sleep at all last night...I was thinking about you...Your smile and your eyes...Your smile that speak volumes;your eyes that portray great depth

I miss you.

There's something wonderful about your presence...Something sweet and poignant and tender...Thinking of you sends a warm tingle to my senses... The sensation is odd but strangely comforting...

Pre-Anniv Happy-Happy

We're barely a month away from our anniversary. Joel and I are planning on a Baguio Trip. We're ditching the idea of celebrating with friends. Well, actually, we're still planning to include them, our beloved drinking buddies hahaha... Pero shempre ndi na cla kasama sa Baguio db hehe =p

Wala lang.. I'm just uber excited about this whole anniv thingy. It's not that it's my first. I'm just really happy and enthused about Joel and I.

HHmmmmm....

When Angel Met Joel

June 2008
…It was a fateful day in June, my first month or so at Iweb. I remember Atchie practically dragging me to the poolside area where the rest of the group was hanging out. It was a despedida party of some sort; there were food and yosi and alcohol – the works. They invited us to take a swig of alcoholic beverage. Isang shot lang daw sabi ni August. I was sleep-deprived and hungry, but I went ahead and downed a cup of… (I’m not sure if the drink was empi or grandma). I thought that was the end of that. I was in no mood for chitchat, heck, I was hungry and sleepy and they were a little too “loud”.

After the second cup of the alcoholic drink (and water as chaser, a practice I got from Lyka), I pulled Atchie to one side and begged her to go with me to the CR. I was practically barfing – I don’t want to do that in public. Once inside, I stuck my fingers in; then I was okay. We went back to tell them that we’re going, but for some reason, we were “forced” to stay. Forced, without much struggle, I guess. By then, I was already starting to enjoy myself. I guess Atchie was pretty much enjoying herself as well. We were talking and joking around with them, when one guy started to catch my attention. The guy’s name is Joel.

JOEL REGONDOLA a.k.a. SB
Joel is a rather short, thin and muscular type of guy. He has smooth and moreno skin. He has long lashes which made his beautiful, large eyes look very expressive. He wore his slightly-longish hair unadorned. And… he has dimples. He has a gorgeous smile and a heart-stopping gaze, an irresistible combination, really. A combination that is exclusively his. Heck, even meeting Chiz Escudero in person was no comparison.

Okay, so this Joel guy had a “magnetic pull” effect on me. I found myself peeping under my lashes, to see if I also had that effect on him. I caught him looking, (staring, really) more than once. I was about to let it go but then he looked at me again and said, “ang cute ng smile mo.”

I pretended not to hear but from that point on, I made it a point to smile at every single joke shared among the group. That was the idea: they laugh and I smile. Pretty stupid, huh? I realize that now, but back then, this pa-cute maneuver came naturally. The smile was supposed to keep the dimples on my cheeks on a semi-permanent basis. My cheeks were getting sore, really. Fortunately, the group broke up, and most of them went swimming. I remember sitting with Joel after he went for a swim, but I can’t remember what the conversation was all about. I went dizzy and I passed out.


I threw up like hell, blah-blah… I’ll keep the gory details to myself.

Anyway... that was how things started... =)

Happy-Happy!!!

I'm setting aside my paranoia to pave way for something more positive: Our monthsary. Joel and Angel's 9th monthsary. Weee!!! =)

Okay, for starters, Joel and I had dinner last Saturday. Then, he spent the night at my house. (patay ako pag uwi ni daddy from Gensan hahaha). Then we ate lunch the next day (Sunday) and set off to run different errands.

Actually, today is the big day. Perhaps, this day is indeed a big day, considering the frequency of our petty fights since I started working again. Oh well, I guess there really are inevitable issues between us. But in spite of these, I think we're well on our way towards a more fruitful (nyay fruitful hahaha) relationship. I just wish he'd be less "friendly" when socializing with other girls. (Or maybe I should try to lock up the green-eyed monster that threatens to comes out when Joel smiles at another girl hahaha).

9 months and counting... =)

At Odds...

More than anything else, I want to be with SB, but some things about our relationship keep on bothering me. At the top of the list is the fact that I only "stole" him from the other girl.

I'm thinking of Karma.

Heck, who am I fooling? I'm afraid of Karma. Who was it who said, "If I steal you away from him, chances are, you'll be stolen away from me, too." Gawd... I'm a hopeless nutcase. And it's all my fault...

So Much In Love

Joel Regondala, you're the most important person in my life and I'm hopelessly in love with you. Sooner or later, one or both of us is bound to fuck up, but I don't care. I'd rather fight with you for who-knows-how-long than to find another guy who could live up to what we share now.

I love the way your hair curls down the back of your neck and the side of your face..
I love the way you gaze at me..
I love the way you laugh..
I love the way you smell..
I love your voice..
I love the warmth of your body..
I love the way you hold me close..
I love it when you kiss me..
I love it when we make love..

And I love and love and love you....

We Almost Broke Up...

What would I do if the inevitable comes? I don’t know. I’m just hoping that we’d stay together for as long as we could. Perhaps until we’re both still breathing.

There’s something scary about a future without SB. This doesn’t mean that I’m sticking to this relationship just for comfort. It’s something else; something I can’t quite put a finger on. It’s like a physical pain in the stomach that goes on an upward motion, striking the heart where it hurts most. Then, just when I think the pain is over and done with, I find it difficult to breathe. It’s as if SB has a remote control; as if he manipulates my vital organs. I’d die if he hits the wrong button.

Hahaha… The analogy sucks. But the thing is this: I can’t imagine a life without SB.

And if truth be told, I don’t want to.

Gawd, I need a pack of tissue….

Quoting a Dead Poet

Love is a beautiful pain. Or so says Sappho.

Baby Boy!!

SB has been exerting a lot of effort on our relationship lately. He's been visiting me after his shift at work every so often, offering financial assistance, bringing me breakfast...
...and so the list of nice things he's been doing for me goes on.

Is it just my imagination, or do I really have the sweetest, nicest boyfriend in the world?

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little. Nevertheless, I do love my babyboy... Regardless of the situations we've been through, SB will always be my guy. =)

Angel and Joel. Joel and Angel.

I think SB and I have a closer relationship now. One might think that we've only been together for 7 months and that those months cannot spell out what the future has in store for us. This thing has crossed my mind, too. More often that I'd care to admit. But I guess there really comes a time when you just know that the person you're with is the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Yeah. I'm talking about a major leap here.

I'm pretty prepped up about my future with SB and the two cute kids we're planning to have with us to complete our happy family. My dad would probably break my neck if he hears me planning about my own family. But heck, I found the person I can't imagine my life without. Am I not entitled to go after the only thing that would make me deliriously happy? I think that's a basic human right and it cannot, should not, be curtailed. Not for any reason whatsoever...

Cheers to a lifetime of love and happiness for Angel and Joel!

HAPPY MONTHSARY!!!

HAPPY 7TH MONTHSARY JOEL AND ANGEL!!!

Torn..

I think I'm too eager to do everything at once. I don't know where to start.

I want to be with Joel. All the time. But I also want to prioritize my own media career.

I want to prioritize my own media career, but I also want to join the academe.

I want to join the academe, but if I do, I will not earn enough to pursue my Masteral Degree.

I want to earn my Masteral Degree, but Daddy says he will only pay for my education (again) if I study in Mindanao.

I want to go to Mindanao because becoming a war correspondent is one of my greatest dreams. But if I go to Mindanao and work as a journalist there, my Dad will get mad and he won't pay for my education anymore. I think I might break his heart if I get killed in the middle of the insurgency. Plus, I don't want to stay away from SB.

I think I'd rather stay at IWeb. Only problem is, I'm not enjoying my job. Plus, I don't have a client. I can look for another job, but if I find another employment, what will happen to SB and I?...

I'm thinking of SB, money, and a decent career. I need a job that can fit all of these....

I Miss You

I await the rising of the sun as this would signal another day... and another breakfast date with you. But even as the sun shines brightly unto us, I find myself bothered by the fact that our time together would soon pass. I am thus torn between making the most of our one-hour breakfast date and anticipating the torment of longing for you as I know I would greatly feel your absence in the hours that lie ahead.

Like now, perhaps?

I miss you...

Now, I wish nighttime would come, just so I could sleep peacefully in a haven where only thoughts of you would pervade my mind.

I miss you... I miss you... I miss you...
Did I say that already??

Mornings with SB

Joel (a.k.a. sexyboy/SB) and I are still together. I'm falling even more in love with him each day.

SB and I had breakfast at Jollibee this morning. I had the urge to kiss him while we're eating our breakfast. Nothing horny, really, just an overwhelming need to express my love. Overwhelming... LOL!

Hhaayysshh... Eating with SB is a really, really nice thing. I was intent on gobbling up my tune pie when a thought from nowhere struck me: I WANT TO DO THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

I want to eat breakfast with SB for the rest of my life. I want to wake up in the morning with this wonderful, wonderful, wonderful person by my side. I want him to be the last person I'll see at night. I'm seeing a bright future ahead; a bright future with this crazy guy who makes my heart beat a thousand times over. I doubt if I can make every turn a right one, but somehow, I also know that no matter what kind of journey lies ahead, I will (and I can( take the challenge head-on, as long as I have SB with me. Always.

If this is not a declaration of love, then I don't know what this is...

My Guy

I met this guy who said he didn't like drunkard chicks, but he fell in love with me, anyway.

He doesn't have much patience with naggers, but for me he made an exception.

He doesn't have his own kid yet, so he's pampering me as if I'm his own baby.

He says I'm a spoiled brat, but he has pretty much accepted that fact already.

He thinks I'm a paranoid freak most of the time, but he just keeps his mouth shut, anyway.

He finds my craziness annoying, but he only says so when I'm going overboard.

I think I'm a lucky girl to have found such a wonderful person to fall in love with.

Too bad we aren't seeing each other as much as we used to..
Too bas we aren't seeing each other as much as we want to..

Darn...
I miss my guy...

Angelina Joel. LOL...

Perhaps this is what love means...

LoveNotes... Or something to That Effect

Are you real?
Sometimes I think you aren't.
Sometimes I wonder if you'd go away if I close my eyes,
Or if you'd be blown away by a single gust of the wind.

I don't know.

Maybe this is crazy.
Maybe we are all crazy.
But then again, maybe it's just you and I.

I love you so much...